CREEK ROAD GANG
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The Gift
Kitty Kono
copyright 2009
Gift giving is of utmost importance in the Japanese culture. I know this first hand because I am married to a Japanese man and he has taught me a lot about what is proper and not so proper in Japan.
A few years ago, I was visiting my in-laws in Tokyo. As part of the trip, a Japanese business man I knew through work invited my husband and me to join him at a fancy restaurant for dinner. This particular Japanese man (Hiroo Wakai) was very important in my circles, as he was the executive director of a Japanese agency with which my organization wanted to become aligned.
I knew Wakai San liked to drink, so I decided a good bottle of red wine might be the perfect gift and one he would truly appreciate. I picked up a moderately priced bottle in advance of our dinner and brought it back to my brother in-law’s apartment where we were staying. The next day, just before we were about to leave for dinner, I opened the refrigerator and there to my surprise, was the bottle. I didn’t remember putting it in the refrigerator and thought my husband must have done it. I don’t know a lot about wine, but I do know that red wine should not be chilled. I was upset that my husband would make such a mistake, but I calmed down. Maybe in Japan, red wine can go in the refrigerator. I put the wine in a nice bag (although it should have been exquisitely wrapped) and just hoped it would warm up before our host opened his present.
We arrived at the restaurant a little early before Wakai San. We had our own little dining room. We sat at one of those terribly low tables where one has to be extremely flexible to ever be comfortable. Wakai San arrived with his lovely wife. We stood up and I introduced them to my husband and we all did a lot of bowing and then sat down again to dinner. Wakai San is a funny little man, quite nervous and just a little bit nerdy. He speaks very little English and what he speaks is halting and with a very heavy accent. I handed him the bag with the bottle in it. He opened it, looked at it, looked a little puzzled and then said with no enthusiasm, “Arigato goziamasu.” (Thank you very much.) Maybe the wine was still cold. Maybe it was too cheap. Or maybe he didn’t drink red wine. Or maybe he was put off by the simple bag rather than good wrapping paper. Oh well, I guess it wasn’t a hit. We got through dinner. I thanked him profusely and we returned home.
When we got back to our apartment, there in the corner of the bedroom, by my suitcase, was the bottle of wine that I had picked up the day before. Uh oh… my husband did not put the bottle in the refrigerator.
Later that evening my husband was talking to his sister on the phone and mentioned that I had taken the wrong bottle of wine to give as a gift to Wakai San. I could over hear my sister-in-law speaking very rapidly in Japanese over the phone. My husband looked a bit ashen and then gasped. “What’s the matter?” I asked. He turned to me and said in a sickened voice, “My sister thinks the bottle you took to Wakai San was an open bottle of wine.”
Oh my, oh my. How could that be? I would have known that. My brain is not that feeble. How could I do such a terrible thing? How in the world could I ever rectify this most horrible faux pas? I must think of a way. This would not be good for business. My boss would kill me if he ever knew. Ugh…. just awful.
The next morning we were taking a two-day trip on a train to a little village outside of Tokyo. In the busy Tokyo train station, I was still fretting over the wine. I decided I had to call Wakai San right then and there and apologize. It was the only way. I had his office number and with my husband’s help was able to get through to him on a pay phone. “Wakai San.” I shouted over the loud train station noise. “Ohio goziamasu. (Good morning.) How are you? This is Kitty Kono. Thank you so much for the wonderful dinner last night.”
“Hai,” (Yes) clipped Wakai San.
“Oh Wakai San, I am very embarrassed about my present to you.”
“Hai.” I don’t think he understood what I was saying.
“I think I brought you the wrong bottle of wine.” I said in a louder, sweeter voice.
“Wakari masen,” (I don’t understand) said Wakai San.
“I think I brought you the wrong bottle of wine,” I shouted again. “It may have been open.”
“Wakari masen,” he repeated. This was not getting better.
“I just wanted to call to apologize for the wine and thank you again for such a wonderful dinner.”
“Hai.”
“O.K. Thank you again and I will see you soon.”
“Hai.”
Well now that didn’t work and I just felt awful. I talked it over with my husband and we decided that when we got back from our little overnight stay, we would buy Wakai San a very good, expensive bottle of wine and take it to his office. Oh… just having that plan made me feel better. But things got worse – not better.
When we got back to Tokyo there was a wonderful, expensive wine store right there in the station. I am pretty thrifty, but we spared no expense. We bought a fabulous bottle and had it wrapped in its own padded box and then beautifully wrapped again and put into a lovely bag.
My husband and I splurged again and took a taxi to Wakai San’s office. It was a Saturday and the office was closed, but an old garage attendant was there. He knew Wakai San well. I handed him the bag and my husband asked him if he would please put this on Wakai San’s desk with my business card. He agreed to do it.
It was a beautiful day and our apartment was only about two miles from the office. Although we had our overnight bag, we decided to walk home. When we were just about home – I stopped dead in my tracks. I realized that I had left the receipt for the bottle in the new bag that was now on Wakai San’s desk. Oh no…… It cannot be.
My poor husband was so mad at me. He said to “GO HOME” and he would walk back to Wakai San’s office and ask the garage attendant to go back up to Wakai San’s office and retrieve the gift so he could remove the receipt.
I walked home disgusted with myself. When my husband got home, much, much later, he said when he got there the shift had changed and our garage attendant was no longer on duty. He persuaded the new garage attendant to call the old garage attendant and was able to get him on the phone. My husband explained the situation about the receipt and the wonderful garage attendant said he would remove the receipt before Wakai San got to work on Monday morning.
I was never sure if the garage attendant came through, but I did find a very funny card the next day and wrote a letter to Wakai San explaining my first faux pas and apologized again. I did not mention the receipt business and just hope, hope, hope it was not in the second bag when he opened it.
A few years later, one of Wakai San’s employees came to my company for a two- month internship in the United States. This young man was a real sweetheart and we became good friends. He told me that Wakai San had told him the story of the wine and the funny lady from the United States. It turns out the first bottle had not been open, but he was very grateful for two good bottles of wine.
A few years ago, I was visiting my in-laws in Tokyo. As part of the trip, a Japanese business man I knew through work invited my husband and me to join him at a fancy restaurant for dinner. This particular Japanese man (Hiroo Wakai) was very important in my circles, as he was the executive director of a Japanese agency with which my organization wanted to become aligned.
I knew Wakai San liked to drink, so I decided a good bottle of red wine might be the perfect gift and one he would truly appreciate. I picked up a moderately priced bottle in advance of our dinner and brought it back to my brother in-law’s apartment where we were staying. The next day, just before we were about to leave for dinner, I opened the refrigerator and there to my surprise, was the bottle. I didn’t remember putting it in the refrigerator and thought my husband must have done it. I don’t know a lot about wine, but I do know that red wine should not be chilled. I was upset that my husband would make such a mistake, but I calmed down. Maybe in Japan, red wine can go in the refrigerator. I put the wine in a nice bag (although it should have been exquisitely wrapped) and just hoped it would warm up before our host opened his present.
We arrived at the restaurant a little early before Wakai San. We had our own little dining room. We sat at one of those terribly low tables where one has to be extremely flexible to ever be comfortable. Wakai San arrived with his lovely wife. We stood up and I introduced them to my husband and we all did a lot of bowing and then sat down again to dinner. Wakai San is a funny little man, quite nervous and just a little bit nerdy. He speaks very little English and what he speaks is halting and with a very heavy accent. I handed him the bag with the bottle in it. He opened it, looked at it, looked a little puzzled and then said with no enthusiasm, “Arigato goziamasu.” (Thank you very much.) Maybe the wine was still cold. Maybe it was too cheap. Or maybe he didn’t drink red wine. Or maybe he was put off by the simple bag rather than good wrapping paper. Oh well, I guess it wasn’t a hit. We got through dinner. I thanked him profusely and we returned home.
When we got back to our apartment, there in the corner of the bedroom, by my suitcase, was the bottle of wine that I had picked up the day before. Uh oh… my husband did not put the bottle in the refrigerator.
Later that evening my husband was talking to his sister on the phone and mentioned that I had taken the wrong bottle of wine to give as a gift to Wakai San. I could over hear my sister-in-law speaking very rapidly in Japanese over the phone. My husband looked a bit ashen and then gasped. “What’s the matter?” I asked. He turned to me and said in a sickened voice, “My sister thinks the bottle you took to Wakai San was an open bottle of wine.”
Oh my, oh my. How could that be? I would have known that. My brain is not that feeble. How could I do such a terrible thing? How in the world could I ever rectify this most horrible faux pas? I must think of a way. This would not be good for business. My boss would kill me if he ever knew. Ugh…. just awful.
The next morning we were taking a two-day trip on a train to a little village outside of Tokyo. In the busy Tokyo train station, I was still fretting over the wine. I decided I had to call Wakai San right then and there and apologize. It was the only way. I had his office number and with my husband’s help was able to get through to him on a pay phone. “Wakai San.” I shouted over the loud train station noise. “Ohio goziamasu. (Good morning.) How are you? This is Kitty Kono. Thank you so much for the wonderful dinner last night.”
“Hai,” (Yes) clipped Wakai San.
“Oh Wakai San, I am very embarrassed about my present to you.”
“Hai.” I don’t think he understood what I was saying.
“I think I brought you the wrong bottle of wine.” I said in a louder, sweeter voice.
“Wakari masen,” (I don’t understand) said Wakai San.
“I think I brought you the wrong bottle of wine,” I shouted again. “It may have been open.”
“Wakari masen,” he repeated. This was not getting better.
“I just wanted to call to apologize for the wine and thank you again for such a wonderful dinner.”
“Hai.”
“O.K. Thank you again and I will see you soon.”
“Hai.”
Well now that didn’t work and I just felt awful. I talked it over with my husband and we decided that when we got back from our little overnight stay, we would buy Wakai San a very good, expensive bottle of wine and take it to his office. Oh… just having that plan made me feel better. But things got worse – not better.
When we got back to Tokyo there was a wonderful, expensive wine store right there in the station. I am pretty thrifty, but we spared no expense. We bought a fabulous bottle and had it wrapped in its own padded box and then beautifully wrapped again and put into a lovely bag.
My husband and I splurged again and took a taxi to Wakai San’s office. It was a Saturday and the office was closed, but an old garage attendant was there. He knew Wakai San well. I handed him the bag and my husband asked him if he would please put this on Wakai San’s desk with my business card. He agreed to do it.
It was a beautiful day and our apartment was only about two miles from the office. Although we had our overnight bag, we decided to walk home. When we were just about home – I stopped dead in my tracks. I realized that I had left the receipt for the bottle in the new bag that was now on Wakai San’s desk. Oh no…… It cannot be.
My poor husband was so mad at me. He said to “GO HOME” and he would walk back to Wakai San’s office and ask the garage attendant to go back up to Wakai San’s office and retrieve the gift so he could remove the receipt.
I walked home disgusted with myself. When my husband got home, much, much later, he said when he got there the shift had changed and our garage attendant was no longer on duty. He persuaded the new garage attendant to call the old garage attendant and was able to get him on the phone. My husband explained the situation about the receipt and the wonderful garage attendant said he would remove the receipt before Wakai San got to work on Monday morning.
I was never sure if the garage attendant came through, but I did find a very funny card the next day and wrote a letter to Wakai San explaining my first faux pas and apologized again. I did not mention the receipt business and just hope, hope, hope it was not in the second bag when he opened it.
A few years later, one of Wakai San’s employees came to my company for a two- month internship in the United States. This young man was a real sweetheart and we became good friends. He told me that Wakai San had told him the story of the wine and the funny lady from the United States. It turns out the first bottle had not been open, but he was very grateful for two good bottles of wine.
~~~
Biographical Note:Kitty Kono grew up on a dairy farm in Quakertown, Pennsylvania during the 1950's. After graduating from Hollins College in Roanoke, Virginia with a bachelor's degree in psychology, she spent the next 32 years working for the American Society for Testing and Materials (ASTM International) doing all sorts of jobs from secretary in the public relations division to vice president of Global Cooperation. She retired in 2007 and spent the last year in Japan with her husband and 12 year old daughter. She has taken up photography with a passion and her photographs can be seen at her website at www.kittykono.com Kitty's story "Let's Go Dutch" appeared in the October issue.
